I want everyone to think I'm cool, sweet, smart, loving and all the other great things that come along with that. I am. but i should count that as lying since it's not all true. I only tell them half of the story. The part I like.
Deep down, I'm not a nice, cheery, loving, smart girl. I'm a lost, dark and angry girl. I have problems and I miss my old life. I don't know what i mean by that. . .I guess I mean when life was simple and problem free. I miss when life was all about friends and the worst fight you get into was because you took the last ice cream on the ice cream rack in school. Now my fights get physical. And I'm tempted to do bad things. I do bad things. I did bad things and I will keep doing bad things. not because I intentionally want to be a disappointment to my family but because I am a human and desires and temptations are a common weakness.
I hate disappointing my parents. I really do, Making them think they cant trust me, and I'm only an embarrassment. They give me a little freedom and i screw up every time. I hear it from them all the time and they don't know how much i regret it, and how guilty I feel. But sometimes when they don't eventually drop it. i learn to forget about it and just not care. That's my big, big problem. It's just that i don't care! when i have to do something, when i have to study when i have to do something about anything the only thing that goes on in my head is 'No, I'm not going to do it, because I DON'T CARE!'
I don't know why I'm like that. And I never said I was proud of it. But I'm different from the girls across the street. I'm shy, I'm curious, I'm a Muslim. Religion is part of why I am the way I am. What i wear makes me feel caged up. Like I'm not beautiful. One reason would be because My whole body is covered but my hands and face and another reason might be because everyone looks at my people and I like we're terrorists.
Just because we are different doesn't make us terrorists! We just don't agree with some of your ways. Nothing wrong with that. Last I checked there was FREEDOM OF SPEECH and FREEDOM OF RELIGION! And those are YOUR rules! not even OURS! Sheesh!So why are you protesting about a Mosque being built instead of a Church? The Priest CLOSED THE CHURCH! AND SOLD IT! there is NOTHING you can do now. FREEDOM OF RELIGION!
If you don't like it. . . .go somewhere else.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
ReplyDeleteHelen Keller
I am no more better than you or anyone else and i can get out of control and hard to handle but the more you look at the negative the worse things will seem to get. I have learned to be more optimistic, too look past the bad, instead of the glass half empty it's half full. I wish the best for you.